Listen to win tickets to see Wayne Newton.
And you can win designer dresses.
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THURSDAY MARCH 11, 2010
DAILY DIRT
CLICK HERE for today's entertainment news and celebrity gossip.
Stories include:
THE 'OTHER' COREY SPEAKS.
JESSICA SIMPSON JOKES.. JOHN MAYER 'GAVE AWAY MY GAME.'
LENO AND LETTERMAN ARE CLOSE IN THE LATE-NIGHT RATINGS.
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WOMEN ARE SMARTER THAN MEN....
WITH USELESS CRAP
London's Daily Mail claims that women are smarter than men.
It seems gals are better at remembering useless facts. The global experiment was carried out at the Trivial Pursuit website.
The contest was staged, in nine languages, lasted for five months and saw some 15,121,731 questions asked and answered - although not all of them correctly.
Women answered 4,088,139 correctly... compared to 4,077,596 by the men.
PLAY ALONG: Test your trivia knowledge with some of these sample questions...
Art & Literature
1) Which literary character boasts a lightning bolt scar on his forehead?
2) Which painter's museum in Figueres, Spain, is topped by a bunch of giant eggs?
Sport & Leisure
3) Which arcade game introduced players to Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde?
4) Which women's tennis star linked a $40 million endorsement deal with Reebok in 2000?
Entertainment
5) Which 61-year-old noted in 2000: 'I'm rock and roll, and I'm a woman, and at a certain age you stop looking the part.'
6) What distinctive first name did Susan Weaver pluck from the pages of The Great Gatsby?
People and Places
7) What is the official language of Egypt, Tunisia and Morocco?
8) What is the only U.S State to end with three vowels?
Science & Nature
9) What natural catastophe can cause destruction via a 'pyroclastic flow'?
10) Which apple species originated in 1869 when Maria Ann Smith planted seeds she found rotting in a gin barrel?
History
11) Who was made the first honorary U.S citizen?
12) How many signatures grace the Declaration of Independence?
And here are the answers...
1) Harry Potter 2) Salvador Dali 3) Pac-Man 4) Venus Williams 5) Tina Turner 6) Sigourney 7) Arabic 8) Hawaii 9) Volcanic eruption 10) Granny Smith 11) Winston Churchill 12) 56.
At Santa Clara University, you can take a class called The Joy of Garbage, where you explore "the technical aspects of decomposition and waste processes."
At Cornell University, you can take a class called Tree Climbing.
At Georgetown University, you can take a class called Philosophy and "Star Trek".
At UCLA, you can take a class called Queer Musicology, which explores pressing issues like "the possibility that being gay makes music by gay composers sound different to you than it would if you were straight."
At Pitzer College in California, you can take a class called Learning from YouTube, which . . . shocker . . . consists of "students watching, discussing, and commenting on YouTube videos."
At Stanford University, you can take a class called iPhone Application Programming.
At Alfred University in New York, you can take a class called Maple Syrup; The Real Thing.
At Frostburg State University in Maryland, you can take a class called The Science of "Harry Potter".
At Centre College in Kentucky, you can take a class called The Art of Walking.
And at Reed College in Oregon, you can take a class called Underwater Basket Weaving. No, really.
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SHOW NOTES FROM PRODUCER JC
I may not actually be married. I did not invite our minister to our reception so as revenge he might have forgot to sign my marriage certificate.
To the couple that saw me shirtless in a back alley yesterday…. It’s not what you think! I was taking my shirt off so I could drop it off at the Dry Cleaners.
Mark may not be able to tell you what State ends with three vowels but he can tell you which arcade game introduced players to Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde?
Mark told us about his “friend” that had his house scanned for any bugs and phone wires.
Mark did admit to trying a nanny cam. Truth be told, Mark’s house has more camera’s than CBS’s Big Brother house (Julie Chen is actually standing outsid).
We might have to change the name of the show to “Mark and Mrs. Nevada in the Morning.” Mercedes is being woo’d by pageant officials to enter the Mrs. Nevada competition.
I think Mercedes would be a lock to win it. She for sure would win the talent competition, listen to the “Master of Sound Effects” do a machine gun… now a sprinkler.
The secret is out, I am planning on getting butt implants.
Mark’s father and my father would tell us the same thing growing up. They would tell us to eat a certain food because it would put hair on our chest. Unfortunately Mercedes’ father did the same thing which made her teen years a tad bit awkward.
Mark’s sister’s sneeze sounds just like a Mercedes toot.
Finally, we talked about the 25 Most Unsexy Sounds Ever. # 3 Someone blowing their nose. # 2 Toenails being clipped. And here is the #1 MOST UNSEXY SOUND EVER:
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WEDNESDAY MARCH 10, 2010
DAILY DIRT
CLICK HERE for today's entertainment news and celebrity gossip.
Stories include:
LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS $100M FOR A TALKING BABY NAMED.... 'LINDSAY.'
DOES MADONNA WANT A PIECE OF GERARD BUTLER???
CONAN PAL, ANDY RICHTER, STILL ANGRY.
TIGER WOODS AND WIFE SMOOCH.
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ETIQUETTE TIPS FOR DEALING
WITH OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE
Journalist named Mary Mitchell came up with a list of etiquette tips for dealing with over-weight people.
#1.) Avoid situations where there will only be folding chairs.
#2.) When you make reservations at a restaurant, make sure they have tables and not just booths. Also check to be sure that the chairs don't have armrests, because they're easier to get in and out of.
#3.) Watch out for activities that require a lot of walking or standing, just like you would do for someone with a walker or wheelchair.
#4.) If you're walking with an obese person who appears to be getting winded, subtly suggest that YOU are the one who needs to stop for a rest.
#5.) When all else fails, ask your friend as matter-of-factly as you can: "Is there any way I can help?" Or, "Will you need some accommodations for you to be comfortable?"
LETTERS "A" OR "F" BEFORE AN EXAM
CAN AFFECT HOW WELL YOU DO
If you've got a test coming up and you're worried you're going to blow it, there's a simple thing you can do to improve your score: Just look at the letter "A" before you take the exam.
At least that's according to researchers at the University of Missouri, who found that just SEEING the letters "A" or "F" before a test can subconsciously affect how well you do.
The study was published in the "British Journal of Educational Psychology", and the results were verified in three separate trials, with students who looked at the letter "A" consistently performing better than students who looked at the letter "F."
A guy named Dr. Keith Ciani co-led the study. He says, quote, "These findings suggest that exposure to letters 'A' and 'F,' even without any explicit reference to success or failure, significantly affected the students' performance on the tests.
"Exposure to the letter 'A' made the students non-consciously approach the task with the aim to succeed, while exposure to letter 'F' made the students non-consciously want to avoid failure.
"Research suggests that when people approach tasks with the desire to succeed they perform better than when striving to avoid failure."
In other words, if you want to ace your finals, all you have to do is look at the letter "A" before you take the test, and you'll be just fine.
Mark started the show by accidentally spilling Mercedes’ coffee.
We realized that we have an issue with caffeine when we were more worried about the loss of the coffee than the possibility of losing all of our broadcast equipment.
I found a first edition copy of Ernest Hemingway’s ‘A Farewell to Arms.’ This book, from 1929, could bring in anywhere from $49 to $15,000.
Mercedes had a couple of news stories that helped justified our vices. Mark and I can keep drinking our Red Bull because it helps with our metabolism and Mercedes can keep drinking the red wine because it’s good for her heart.
If the Nevada court systems cannot get Mark to attend jury duty what makes you think anyone can stop him from tanning?
After her spin class yesterday Mercedes was so broken down, both emotionally and physically, that she almost started crying.
Most men named Ronnie are bullies, except for Grammy Award Winning Country Artist Ronnie Milsap.
Talk about a tortured life… Mercedes loves Tulips but the smell of them will make her sick.
When making someone a mix tape make sure you don’t include music that reminds them of the death of a loved one.
Some guys hate having nickname, especially if the name is “Poopsie.”
Finally, apparently every women has a "list." This is a list of men they have been with. Most women keep this list in their bible or if you are like listener Rebecca you get real clever:
CLICK HERE for today's entertainment news and celebrity gossip.
Stories include:
RYAN O'NEAL ON FARRAH FAWCETT AND OSCAR'S TRIBUTE.
KATHY IRELAND SAYS SHE WASN'T ON "MEDS" AT THE OSCARS.
MARIE OSMOND'S SON WAS LAID TO REST YESTERDAY.
WHITE TO SNL.
COWELL ON TONIGHT SHOW.
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HIRE A HOME-WRECKER TO BREAK UP YOUR MARRIAGE
There's a service in Japan called 'Wack-Array-Sass-Sayer' (--in English it's written wakaresaseya). It means "breaker-upper." Here's how it works:
You're in a lousy relationship and you want it to end . . . you hire the services of the "breaker-upper" . . . they follow your husband or wife around for a while . . . and then either SEDUCE them, or produce some other kind of incriminating evidence.
That way, you have a foolproof excuse to get divorced. In other words, the 'wack-array-sass-sayer' provides a relatively conflict-free way to end your miserable marriage.
The idea of using professionals to end a relationship isn't new in Japan . . . there are a bunch of companies that specialize in it, and they've been around for at least ten years. And you can use them in a few different ways . . .
Like to figure out whether someone's cheating on you, to get evidence for a divorce case, to get an employee to resign, or just because you're an evil jerk and want to bring shame on someone.
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WAYNE NEWTON
Mr. Las Vegas was on the show this morning. Be sure and listen to the interview to hear Wayne talk about his latest personal issues, his thoughts on 'Dancing with the Stars' and his future Las Vegas plans.
A new survey finds that many women wouldn’t call 911 if they were having symptoms of a heart attack or stroke.
Only half of the women surveyed said they would call 911. Instead, the gals would call their doctors, take an aspirin or get to a hospital on their own.
Experts say some reasons why people don’t call 911 is they are in denial that they are having a heart attack -- OR-- they don’t want to be embarrassed if they are wrong.
Mark has been doing radio in Las Vegas for 13 years... and the one thing we learned about him is that he likes “top notch prostitutes.”
If anyone knows how to catch a Leprechaun please let us know. Mark needs the info for his daughter's 1st grade paper and Mercedes needs it for her UNLV essay.
The one thing that Fonzie has taught us is that almost anything can fixed by kicking it, including tires.
Speaking of tires, my wife had a flat yesterday and it took me awhile to meet up with her to change it because I was tanning.
Mark is working on an iPhone app that helps you identify dresses.
We learned about a "Lotus Birth." And whatever you do DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE LOTUS BIRTH!
If you were born on the 605 freeway at 6:05 a.m. you should be named 605.
If my parents named me after the place I was conceived you would be calling me C.I., as in Chevy Impala.
Mercedes gave a ringing endorsement for the City of Lancaster, Ca.
Do the names Bob Guiney, Rudy Boesch, Sue Hawk and Evan Marriott ring a bell? No that’s not the overnight crew at the Kwiki Mart… it’s a who’s who of Realty TV circa 10 years ago.
Ladies make sure you pick up the latest accessory to go with your COACH purse, that’s Power Bait.
Finally, thank you to our guest Wayne Newton and be sure and listen tomorrow morning when Mark and Mercedes interview the hottest new band - "Toilet Mummy."
CLICK HERE for today's entertainment news and celebrity recap.
Stories include:
FULL OSCAR RECAP.
OSCAR TRIBUTE LEAVES OUT FARRAH FAWCETT, BEA ARTHUR.
STEELERS BIG BEN ROETHLISBERGER ACCUSED OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.
'ALICE IN WONDERLAND' BREAKS $100 MILLION OVER WEEKEND
SANDRA BULLOCK -- WINNER OF AN OSCAR 'AND'...2 RAZZIES.
BROOKE BURKE GETS DWTS HOSTING GIG
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ASSAULT WITH BREAST MILK
Last Thursday, 31-year-old Toni Tramel was arrested for public intoxication in Owensboro, Kentucky (--about 80 miles southwest of Louisville).
It was a misdemeanor charge, and Toni probably would have gotten off with just a small fine.
But while she was changing into an inmate uniform at the jail, Toni squirted the guard in the face with her BREAST MILK.
Under the letter of the law, breast milk is treated just like any other bodily fluid. And Toni was slapped with a third-degree felony assault charge as a result.
Now she's being held on $10,000 bond, and if she's convicted she could get up to five years in prison. All because she got wasted and squirted a cop in the face with her breast milk.
"Fergalicious," Fergie
She stutters over: "I'm Fergalicious. (T-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty.)"
"Changes," David Bowie
He stutters over: "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes."
"The Reflex," Duran Duran
They stutter over: "The reflex, fle-fle-fle-fle-flex!"
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After watching the Oscars last night Mercedes made a keen observation, you never see Jeff Bridges and Kris Kristofferson in the same place at the same time.
We came to the conclusion that March 5th is too late in the year to wish someone a Happy New Year.
If you run into Mercedes out in public and she invites you to a party, and then proceeds to have you type your name and phone number into her phone, don’t be flattered. You should actually by insulted, because there is no party! This is just her trick to learning your name.
Mark had a stray cat in his house over the weekend. This cat kept keep coming back… probably because Mark was feeding the cat tuna steaks.
You know it’s going to be a long night when you find a possum in your pots and pans.
We talked about the best songs that have a stutter in them:
Someone women treat their BOD like an American Express card, they don’t leave home without it.
A lot of our listeners are into having open marriages.
Mark and Mercedes’ grandmother’s would give them candy while mine would make me feel her muscles.
Finally, this morning we had three random grandmothers stories. A story about “DJ Granny,” a story about “Camping out Granny” and a story about “bear feeding Granny” (also know as the fingerless granny).
CLICK HERE for today's entertainment news and celebrity gossip.
Stories include:
ELIN AND TIGER WOODS BACK HOME TOGETHER.
VIOLENCE.... INSIDE THE JACKSON HOME.
ANGELINA JOLIE AND MICK JAGGER...AN AFFAIR?!
NAOMI CAMPBELL'S DRIVER CHANGES HIS MIND.
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7 OSCARS TURNED LOSER
After winning their Oscars, these not-so-magnificent seven went on to embarrass the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science with the rest of their so-called "careers".
1) Cuba Gooding, Jr
2) Mira Sorvino
3) Kevin Costner
4) Helen Hunt
5) Kim Basinger
CLICK HERE for rest of the list.
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PARENTS ARE SHORT-CHANGING THEIR KIDS
WITH TOO MUCH PRAISE AND NOT ENOUGH SLEEP
If you are one of the 85 percent of parents who are constantly telling your children how intelligent they are: Do your children a favor and pipe down.
According to a new book, "NutureShock: New Thinking About Children", the theory that praise, self-esteem and accomplishment increase together, is false.
Children who are constantly praised often underrate the importance of effort.
Children who open their lunchboxes and find mothers' handwritten notes telling them how amazingly bright they are tend to fail when they face academic difficulties.
The authors also say that over-praised children are prone to cheating because they have not developed strategies for coping with failure.
The other issue: only 5 percent of high school seniors get eight hours of sleep a night.
Children get an hour less than they did 30 years ago, which subtracts IQ points and adds body weight.
CLICK HERE for video.
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MEETING YOURSELF ON CHATROULETTE
Kate trained a webcam back at the screen when she joined Chatroulette. Then she captured the looks on many people’s faces when they “connected” with themselves.
Most of us trust our doctor. And if you think yours is good, you SHOULD trust them. But nobody's perfect. So here are four surprising things you might not know about doctors . . .
#1.) DOCTORS DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS.
Surgeons always scrub before they operate. But most doctors aren't surgeons. According to one CDC report, 60% don't follow the regular hand-washing rules we're all supposed to follow.
#2.) DOCTORS GET A LOT OF FREE STUFF.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, 94% have gotten something free from the drug companies.
--83% admit they've let a pharmaceutical rep buy them lunch. And in 2008, doctors got almost $16 BILLION worth of free drug samples. But you probably knew that one already.
#3.) DOCTORS AREN'T ALWAYS HEALTHY.
80% of Americans over the age of 25 are technically overweight. Doctors aren't THAT bad, but they're not that great either. 44% of them admit they're overweight too.
#4.) DOCTORS COVER FOR EACH OTHER.
96% agreed that when another doctor makes a serious mistake they SHOULD report it. But 46% admitted they've looked the other way at least once.
Try to follow along here… yesterday Mercedes told us she has been craving raw meat and today she told us she is thinking about becoming a vegetarian.
We talked about “7 Oscar Winners that Turned into Losers.” And we questioned why one of the greatest films of all time So I Married an Axe Murderer was never nominated.
Mercedes knows exactly what she’s going to do when she wins the lottery. She will pay for Mark’s daughter’s college tuition and she would send me on a WWE World tour. Pretty cool, now if she just starts PLAYING THE LOTTERY our chances will increase drastically.
Mercedes mom says that she is a MILF, that’s “Mother in Love with Father.”
Turns out Mark’s mom and I are the only two people that thought the band TLC stood for “Tender Loving Care.” Sorry I was not aware it stood for "T-Boz,” "Left Eye" and "Chilli."
As a kid my mom would put notes in my lunchbox but it sounds like Mercedes had it the best. Her mom was the lunch lady and would make Mercedes a custom lunch every day. So while you and I were eating Sloppy Joes Mercedes would have rack of lamb with a side of grilled asparagus.
If we were to turn this show into a TV show Mark would be played by Kevin Bacon, we are still casting for Mercedes, Ben Stiller would play me and Blair would be played by Mindy Cohen… best known as Natalie from the ‘Facts of Life.’
Speaking of Blair, don’t ever cross her or she will pop you in the mouth.
Planning on having a drink this weekend? Try a little conniegnac.
Finally, this morning Mercedes was eager to help our morning commuters, perhaps a little too eager. She was giving us traffic updates for Arizona. WOW! By the way if you are planning on driving through Miles City Montana this afternoon give yourself some extra time because of the construction on the I-94.
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