JUNE - JULY - AUGUST 2009 SHOW RUNDOWNS

THURSDAY JUNE 4, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Marked currently has a jacked up status update on Facebook. Saying that he loves the LA Lakers. He has it this because he lost a bet.

Both Mark and Mercedes watched “I’m a Celebrity Get Me out of Here” last night.

I hosted a wine tasting last night… we featured white wines. Mercedes admits that she is slowly becoming a wine snob, judging people on the types of wine they drink.

6:15

DIRT

6:30

Mark has some weird stuff going on with his trash can. He puts it out at night and when he leaves for work in the morning he notices that someone has moved it back onto his porch.

I say his HOA is doing this…. perhaps he is putting his trash cans out too early.

I know in my neighborhood that you have 12 hours prior and post to when the trash comes to put your cans out and take them in.

6:40

NEWS

We are discussing some of our old fashion trends.

Mark had iou sweatshirts and cavaricci pants.

Mercedes enjoyed her Guess Jeans.

Mark also had OP shorts…. Mercedes dad was a fan of those. Those were some very short shorts. Mercedes would try not to sit in front of her dad when he wore them… for fear of accidental junk exposure.

I like this guys OP shorts. I also like his Carrot Top like hair cut. And the fact that he is drinking white wine puts it over the top:

7:10

We are discussing the coolest shirt EVER – the “Three Wolf Moon” T-shirt.

This is the must have of the summer.

7:30

Ray Romano is on the show.

Mark and Mercedes were on an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Ray use to be a regular on the show with Mark and Mercedes.... we had him on in November of 1999 and he had invited us to come out to a taping of the show. In December of 1999 we went out and filmed the episode. M&M were extras in a church scene. We did a lot sitting around that day. I got bored and decided to roam the Warner Brothers lot.... I ran into Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox. I had a tape recorder with me and they refused to do an interview but did say “Hi Mark and Mercedes.”

7:40 NEWS

We are discussing road rage.

Someone flipped off Mercedes yesterday. She says she has no idea why the person gave her the bird.

Who had the weirdest thing thrown at them during a road rage incident?

I was with some buddies on a road trip to Atlantic City, we had stopped at McDonald’s on the way down there. After drinking a biggie sized (is biggie sized McDonalds?) Coke I had to use the bathroom. Long story short, my friend refused to stop so I had to use the same cup that caused this chaos. Then I disposed of the cup out the window. I know littering is wrong, but I was a stupid 21 year old kid at the time. Unfortunately for my friends in the car behind us the cup had a direct hit on their hood. Oops!!!

8:10

We have a list of the do’s and dont’s of dating.

8:30

Women that love their children more than their husband.

8:40

NEWS

Blair admits that she is a virgin but she has made out with plenty of boys.

We reviewed the “make out bases.” You know 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is heavy petting, etc, etc. Well turns out I have had my bases wrong all these years. I would like formally apologize to any girl that I dated and told me to “head for home.” Boy… did I give them a surprise.

9:10

Dirt

9:40

Producers Notes

10:45

Staff meeting.
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MONDAY JUNE 15, 2009

Show Rundown

06:00

Mercedes spent her weekend getting her hair and nails done. She also watched a lot of baseball.

All three of us saw The Hangover…. but Mark was the only one that watched it while hungover.

Mercedes got angry at the movie during the scene when the guys leave the baby in the car. This scene made her depressed for the rest of the movie.

Marks mom fell last night and had to go the ER and get stitches. She is okay, just a little bruised.

Are you trying to get rid of a boil or cyst? Just tell your DR that you are in a wedding in two days. It worked for me!

6:15

If you are keeping score at home… today now makes 3 failed attempts to get Lou Ferrigno on the show.

6:30

Marks mom had to go to the ER. She fell on some steps and had to get some stitches.

Mark overheard a couple in the ER talking about tipping the EMT.

When Mark was a kid he fell in down in a Dairy Queen parking lot and had to get stitches. He then reopened the would a year later when he fell in the bathroom..

Looking for a way to earn some extra cash? Just dress up like a hostess and stand in the lobby of a busy restaurant. It worked for Mercedes.

6:40

Mercedes has a news story about a famous wall of chewed gum.

Mark says that he would chew a piece off of that wall for a 1,000 bucks.

When Mercedes was in school her teacher had a gum jar. If you were caught chewing gum you had to take your piece and place it in the jar and then take a previously old piece out and chew it. YUCK!

If you are ever in the situation where you have to chew previously chewed gum you should go for the light pink gum…. Odds are it belonged to a female.

7:10

Who overheard something interesting this weekend?

I heard an older gentleman tell his co-worker that he lost his virginity.

7:30

Mercedes watched True Blood last night.

Mercedes says she liked True Blood Better when it was called Twilight.

I saw Gran Torino… I liked that better when it was called Karate Kid.

Mark liked Coldplay better when they were called U2.

7:40

NEWS

We have some great audio of Heidi and Spencer on with Al Roker.

8:10

Mercedes use to keep an ex’s sweatshirt just to smell him….

I dated a girl in DC who had a pair of men’s sweatpants in her apartment. I thought nothing of this and would sleep in them from time to time. Looking back on this I now realize that these sweatpants must have been her ex-boyfriends. Very nice.

8:40

According to Mark, both he and I use Magnum condoms.

Mercedes has never had a yeast infection…. and she credits the fact that she never wears silk underwear.

Mercedes’ husband still uses the same deodorant that he did when he was 15 years old – the green Speed Stick.

9:15

DIRT

9:50

Producers Notes.

10:15

Post show meeting fun.
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TUESDAY JUNE 16th.

6:00

Mercedes watched the movie Gran Torino last night. She says that she sees me in Clint Eastwood’s character. How flattering.... the only similarity I see is that Clint’s character also likes to yell at people that come on his lawn.

Mark lost a 500 dollar bet. 500 hundred bucks??? How do I get in on that action.

Mark watched “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” last night.

6:15

Dirt

6:30

Mark had some problems at the puppy store yesterday.

A puppy Mark was looking at it went over and peed on a woman’s dress.

How did you piss off a complete stranger? Or piss on!!! LOL!

Mercedes is not a cat fan… she does not know how to handle them.

Cat’s refuse to play with Mark (his sister has cats).

Mercedes thinks that cats are snobby and aloof.

6:40

Mercedes recommends the movie “How to Make an American Quilt.”

A publicist sent me a review copy of the WWE Encyclopedia. If you are a wrestling fan this is a must have!

Mark was reading about the tag team known as P.M.S.

Blair and Mercedes are the new tag team of PMS.

7:10

Mark had to pay off a 500 dollar bet!

He bet a co-worker that she could not stay off Facebook and Twitter for two weeks!

We are asking for creative ways in how Mark should pay her? Perhaps in pesos or with 500 one dollar bills.

7:30

Types of Women that Men try to avoid.

7:40

NEWS

Women likely to die while driving… unless you are mark.

Dude hair on elephant butt.

8:10

Last week I had to teach my dad some of the slang that the kids are using on the street. Because when you need someone with street credit you should call me.

Long story short my dad was in our local paper talking about some mules and the reporter wrote in his story “Mr. Fernandez refused to let us take a picture of his mule.” Sounds innocent enough, until you find out that in street slang mule means “ piñata.”

Mercedes says she has never heard of a piñata referred to as a mule.

Mark has referred to his piñata as a DORK

Mercedes was told as a kid that a “dude” is a hair on an elephants butt.

After some online research we have learned that M.U.L.E is an acronym used by military officers to describe all the women around them as either: married, ugly, lesbian, or enlisted.

And mule also means o poop

"Mike will be right back, he had to mule."

8:30

Brett Farve is planning on coming back.

8:40

News

I have just revealed way to much information about playing aggressive solitaire and a trip to the urologist.

9:10

DIRT

9:40

Producers Notes

10:00

Time for Mark to pay off his bet.
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THURSDAY JUNE 18, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark and Mercedes are thinking about getting new iPhones tomorrow.

Yesterday I had an unmarked envelope in my work mailbox. And in the envelope was a Bruce Jenner trading card. AWESOME!

Listener Joe has called in - he is the one that gave me the Bruce Jenner card. Thank you Joe. Please feel free to send any Bruce Jenner paraphernalia to 6655 W. Sahara, Suite D-110, Las Vegas NV.

6:30

Mark was dropping his mom off at the airport when a women getting out of a cab hit Marks car…. Marks first instinct was to ask the women if she was okay. Because he is the one use to hitting other cars.

The cabby took off before Mark could get his info.

We are now discussing rude people.

Mercedes thinks society has become too rude. She says perhaps due to the economy.

6:40

NEWS

Mercedes use to go fishing as a kid. Once she fell in the river and got washed down stream about a half a mile. Her father had to jump in and save her.

Listener Clifton is on the show educating us on fishing.

7:10

We are discussing “Jon & Kate Plus 8” and how Kate spanked one of her kids.

Is it okay to spank your child?

7:30

There is a “I can’t Stand Kate” group on Facebook.

Any women out there getting the Kate Gosselin haircut?

Mark likes the Kate look from the front. The front is the business side.... it’s a party in the back with all of her spiky hair.

Mercedes says my new stupid haircut kind of resembles “the kate.” She didn’t call it stupid, that is juts my opinion of my new hairdo.

7:40

Mark had a biology teacher in HS that you could smoke weed with.

Mercedes has an issue with this. Mercedes says she is bugged by this…. bugged because she did not have him as a teacher.

A listener is on the phone and is telling us about her male teacher that had a tampon dispenser in his back office. To me that is weirder than the teacher that smoked weed with his students.

8:10

Mark almost sent a guy to the hospital because he did a bad job spotting him on the dumbbell press.

Mercedes says she never had to spot someone in the gym.

Mercedes says that girls at the gym only talk to guys THEY DON’T WANT! Very nice! So that means that the 3 strippers that go to my gym that NEVER talk to me… want me. I knew it!!!

8:30

Jay Leno is on the show.

Jay Leno gave Mark and Mercedes his first radio interview since leaving The Tonight Show. Jay was great and discussed everything from the current Letterman/ Palin feud, to Conan’s first few weeks on The Tonight Show, and he told us his plans for his new show launching in September.

8:40

No Good Happens after Midnight …. And no good happens on Criagslist.

9:10

DIRT

9:30

Would you send your daughter to makeover camp?

Mark told us that when he was a kid he went on an overnight hiking trip and ended up wandering away from the group and getting lost. He found cover in a stranger’s cabin in the woods. Thankfully someone found him before mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear returned home.

9:50

Producer’s Notes

10:45

Staff meeting... I gave everyone in the room the Gran Torino Gun Finger.

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WEDNESDAY JUNE 24, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark woke up and thought that today was Thursday.

Mercedes had lunch yesterday with Blair.

Mercedes went to dinner last night, every time she leaves this restaurant her hair smells like meat.

Mark would smell like KFC when he was done his shift.

When I was in DC we had a deli in our building, great food but every time you left you smelled. It became known as the “smelly deli.”

Mark continued his dog search last night and also watched “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.”

6:15

DIRT

6:30

My wife and I have been fighting over the DVR. It seems she gets control of the DVR/ downstairs TV 95% of the time. Last night I wanted to watch wrestling but my wife insisted on watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion show.

Mercedes said the remote/ TV in her house is split 60/40 with her husband getting the majority of the use.

The one movie that everyone agrees they can watch on TV is Shawshank Redemption.

Mercedes likes Morgan Freeman the actor, but she does not like it when you hear his internal monologue.

6:40

5 easy ways to make men smile.
# 4 on the list is “give him a very specific compliment.”

Mercedes pays herself compliments via notes, ie: “my marriage is solid and I am married to an amazing man.”

7:10

Texting in movies is becoming a problem. The glowing cell phone is a nuisance to others.

Another annoying thing is the sound people make while opening their snacks.

Mercedes has not seen Transfomers. She would like someone to give her a short synopsis – like Twitter version, keep it to 140 characters.

7:30

We are now taking Twitter synopsis on other movies.

7:40

I have family coming to town today – I spent most of yesterday cleaning the house and putting away anything that might be inappropriate for the family to see.

Mark’s mom use to own a statue of a perverted Monk.

Mercedes’ mom had a funny sign in her kitchen – “I am not a fast cook, I’m not a slow cook, I’m a half fast cook. “

7:45

NEWS

Mark prefers sex over food.

Mercedes would take a Fleming’s cheesy potato over food.

Mark and I both enjoy our time in the restroom (especially with the paper).

Blair also enjoys her time in the restroom, so much so she watches shows on her laptop.

This morning she watched “Roseanne.”

8:10

We are discussing Mercedes’ paranoia about her hair and how it smells like meat after she goes to a certain restaurant.

Mark is playing “Paranoid” by the Jonas Brother in the background.

Mercedes is a fan of the Jonas Brothers.

Mark says that he only downloads songs and bands that start with “J” on Tuesdays’ so he will have to wait till next week to get the new Jonas Brothers song.

Mercedes says her best hair day is when her hair is a little dirty.

Mercedes is obsessive about flossing – she even does it while driving (at stoplights).

Mark has a routine in his shower. If he deviates away from this routine it messes up his whole day.

Mark is OCD with items in his pantry.

8:30

When did you cheat death?

Mercedes once avoided a bad accident when her car hydroplaned.

Think your having a bad day? Try shocking your piñata.

8:40

NEWS

More talk on the MC Hammer concert that I went to… I sat behind Mike Tyson and Tyson had problems with the “2 Legit 2 Quit” hand gestures.

9:10

DIRT

9:45

Producer’s Notes

10:15

Post show meeting – We realize that Mercedes and I are both wearing white v-neck t-shirts with Puma sneakers.
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THURSDAY JUNE 25, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark’s alarm went off a 4:50 a.m. and he still made it to work in time.

Mark admits that he ran some red lights on his way in..

Mercedes got up at 5:08 a.m. once and still made it to work in time! Actually, she was 3 minutes late.

Mercedes watched “ I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!” Lou Diamond Phillips won.

Mercedes also watched “America’s Got Talent.” A contestant that was on the show said he was a bouncer. Mercedes daughter, Sophia, said "I bet he can bounce real high."

I hosted a singles happy hour last night at The Hostile Grape inside the M Resort. Thank you to everyone that came out last night!

6:15

DIRT

6:30

5 Signs Your Marriage Might Fail. This list comes from a wedding planner and it’s 5 signs that show up during your wedding planning process.

Mercedes and I pretty much passed the test... so I guess both of our marriages are solid.

One of the best parts of the wedding planning process is the cake tasting. My wife can’t have any dairy (thanks to the Chron’s Disease) so it was up to me to taste all of the cakes. What a day that was. I think I was suppose to only have a couple of pieces from each cake but ended up devouring every single piece!

Side note: I just did a search and my massive wedding blog is still up - check out HERE.

Mercedes husband was at bachelor party that started the day off golfing and ended up at a brothel. Matt did the right thing by golfing and then pulling a Houdini.

6:40

There is a Men at Work scandal.

Mark was shocked when he heard that his favorite band is being accused of ripping off a old school Australian nursery rhyme.

7:10

Mercedes has a story about a dad who paid a guy to lose the family pet.

When Mark was younger he had a dog named Blue. Mark says its a mystery as to where the dog went.

Mark’s mom is now on the phone. She says that they sent Blue to a “farm.”

Mark is asking his mom what happened to the two bunny rabbits he had as a kid. Turns out one of them jumped out of it’s cage and broke it’s back. And the other one was eaten by a dog. WOW! You learn knew things everyday.

7:30

We are discussing dinning out and people that try and dodge out on paying the bill.

M&M say they always get stuck with the bill when they are out with friends.

7:40

Mark has a “friend” that is paying 5 grand to go to the Russia and find a wife.

8:10

If you saw one of us in the back of a police car most people would think Blair was arrested for stalking or lurking. Mercedes would be arrested for attacking her rival sports team, and Mark would be arrested for a hit and run. He would either hit another car or a person.

8:30

At my happy hour last night I was talking to two listeners. I thought they were sisters or close friends, turns out they are mother and daughter. I told was stunned and told them they could be sisters.

I know this is a compliment to the mother, but is it a insult to the older? In essence am just saying that the daughter looks older?

Blair was once mistaken as her dad’s girlfriend.

9:10

DIRT

9:40

Producers Notes

10:30

Meeting with the boss and we are eating KFC for lunch.

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MONDAY JUNE 29, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark was running late this morning.

Mark got two dogs over the weekend!

Some people told Mark that he may have gotten in over his head by getting two dogs. Perhaps that’s why he was running late???

Mercedes watched The House Bunny over the weekend. She says Anna Faris is a modern day Lucille Ball.

6:15

Mercedes watched Marley and Me over the weekend.

Mark wants to know if that is a good movie for his daughter to watch. Seeing that he just got her two new dogs the answers is NO!!!!

6:30

Mercedes was at the grocery store and had about 20 items.

The checker told her she could go in the 15 and under line.

While she was checking out her groceries someone came up behind her with 2 items and said:
“I guess some people feel like the rules don’t apply to them.”

Mercedes just killed him with kindness and bought the guy his two items.

The dude ended up coming up to Mercedes and apologizing and gave her the money back.

Question – how do you eat kumquats? Do you peel them or not?
Answer - do not peel them.

While walking to the grocery store Mark had someone approach him and give him a menu for a restaurant close by.

We had someone walk in the building on Friday – and hand out menus at people’s cubicles and offices. The dude just walked into the building. He walked into the studio, no one said anything to him till he came by our office. Then we sicked B. Brian BLAIR on him. She tossed him out of the building.

6:40

Mark is a fan of the blood pressure machine

7:10

Mark had a weekend filled with pee and poop thanks to his two new dogs.

Mark has not named the dogs because he is waiting for his daughter to name them.

Some suggestion he has received are “Smith & Wesson” and “Jager & Meister.”

I think he should name them Kip and Henry after Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari in “Bosom Buddies.”

Mercedes wants to know – why do men like to pee outside?

Mark liked to pee his name in the backyard.

Mercedes dad and brother would just go outback as well.

I always had trouble – you try spelling out J.C. It’s hard to stop and start to get the period.

7:30

Mercedes says her best age was 33.

Mercedes and Blair both give themselves a 5 (on a scale from 1-10).

We are now discussing the movie War Games.

We are now discussing the TV Show “Designing Women.”

Dapney Coleman was not on “Designing Women” and Ferris Bueller did not change his grades via computer… he changed his attendance.

8:10

We will call this segment – “Now That’s Cool….”

I am excited about the new BofA checking deposit system. You no longer have to use those dirty envelopes to deposit your checks in the ATM. The checks go directly into the ATM and you get a scanned copy of the check back on your ATM receipt. NOW THAT’S COOL!

My wife cannot have any diary. So we eat a lot of soy cheese. This weekend we discovered soy parmesan cheese. NOW THAT’S COOL!

Mercedes is likes to get Illuminating Peel Facial. It makes her face feel tighter and she looks younger. NOW THAT’S COOL.

There is an app on the iPhone called Midomi. With this app you can hum or sing any song into the phone and it will give you the artist and title back. NOW THAT’S COOL!

8:30

We are testing the Midomi app.

It was 1 for 3. It got Mercedes and Vanilla Ice but failed when Mark and I hummed Cyndi Lauper and Shania Twain.

8:40

NEWS

9:10

DIRT

9:50

Producers Notes

10:15

Tour of the station with Girl Scout Troop.

10:30

Meeting with bosses from Sacramento station.
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Tuesday June 30, 2009

6:00

Mercedes is wearing a new shirt today..

Mercedes daughter was upset over the passing of Michael Jackson. Mercedes sat her down and discussed things with 5-year old Sophie. Sophie said that listening to Christmas music would make her feel better.

Rob Thomas cancelled his interview today due to kidney stones.
Kidney stones? I’m sorry does he have mouth stones? Pick up the phone and call. Kidding of course. Get better Rob.

6:15

DIRT

6:30

Jada Pinkett Smith is on the show.

6:40

NEWS

7:10

Mark’s mom has requested him to be friends on Facebook.

Mark is debating on accepting her as a friend.

Mercedes has been trying to convince her father to get on Facebook.

Our boss follows Mercedes on Twitter… which made it rather embarrassing when she tweeted about her laxatives kicking in.

7:30

We had a Girl Scout Troop take a tour of our studios yesterday.

One of the troop moms was overheard saying – “these studios look nothing like Ryan Seacrest’s studios.”

Seacrest has a gold microphone – we actually use megaphones.

We have a pink unicorn hanging up in our office. I told the girls that if you rub the pink unicorn it will bring you good luck. We had no takers.

7:40

NEWS

8:10

My wife’s mom and brother were I town last week. It was nice having them out here with us.

They left yesterday and left a little damage behind. While getting out of my SUV my wife’s mom slipped and slammed the tuck door into my wife’s car door. Minor damage that can easily be fixed.

We are discussing things that are more trouble than it’s worth.

IE:

Going to club. Mark was going to go clubbing on Saturday night by fell asleep and ended up bailing on his friends..

Owning a boat is a hassle as is owning a four wheeler.

8:30

Mercedes has a list of Readers Digest Top ten jokes.

Mark and I think that women can not tell jokes.

To test the theory we are having women in the office tell us jokes. Our new research backs up our claim – women can not tell jokes.

8:40

NEWS

9:10

DIRT

9:40

Producers Notes

10:00

Post show meeting that involved a nice discussion about confession.
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MONDAY JULY 13, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

We are back LIVE from vacation.

Mercedes had a packed vacation. First stop was in Dallas to visit her brother then back to Vegas for a few days then she was off to LA for the weekend.

Marks daughter loved the new puppy. She named it “Rocky.”

I had the stomach flu last week. It is spreading like wildfire! 8 people I know have caught the stomach flu. This thing is just like the movie Outbreak!

6:15

Mark gives Bruno thumbs up.

6:30

Mercedes went to three baseball games over vacation.

She went to the Yankees/ Angels game over the weekend.

Mercedes ripped off her top to have it signed by Yankee Nick Swisher. If you watched Saturday’s game you can see Mercedes on TV sitting in just a tank top, because she gave her jersey to Nick to have it signed.

Mercedes told Nick Swisher that she follows him on Twitter.

Mercedes also got two balls from the game.

6:40

NEWS

7:10

Mark and Mercedes are discussing the movie Bruno

Should parents bring their kids to go see Bruno?

The movie is a little over the top and Mercedes feels she owes her husband one for taking him to the movie.

We have an anonymous caller on the phone that took his kids to see the movie. He is going as anonymous so his wife does not find out. What’s funny is this caller has a very distinct accent, I am sure his wife and friends will recognize his voice. He sounds like Borat.

7:30

Back in 2000 Juan, our stations engineer, took a friend of a friend to a VIP Goo Goo Dolls concert. I don’t remember the girls name but I do remember thinking that the girl was just using Juan to meet the Goo Goo Dolls. But I digress… Juan took her to the show and that was it, a one night deal.

Fast forward to Saturday night and Juan is at party and this random girl walks up and says “do you remember me?” Juan responds with “no.” By the way, ladies never use that line. Odds are if we remember you we will approach you. But I digress again… she tells Juan that she is the girl that he took to the Goo Goo Dolls show and she is mad that Juan did not caller the next day.

Juan said she was really mad at him! Mad about something that happened 9 years ago! Talk about holding a grudge!

Who has held or is holding the longest grudge?

Marks mom and grandmamma held grudge for 8 years over salad dressing.

Mercedes had a grudge with her aunt. Mercedes told her aunt that she was going to name her daughter Daphne, her aunt said the name was stupid.

7:40

NEWS

Does Mark have a crush on our boss? The jury is out!

8:10

10 ways to tell her she is fat.

Don’t call me shallow… but I was just asked how I would tell Laura if I felt she was putting on some weight. WELL… I would suggest one night that we watch our honeymoon videos. Because every women looks her best on her wedding night, my wife would see the difference and then start hitting the gym.

Mercedes needs to make three meals at dinner. Her diet meal, one for Matt and one for Sophie.

8:30

Mark thought his dogs insides were coming out.

Turns out it was his “lipstick!” Marks dog is hung!

Mark calls him the John Holmes of dogs!

Mark and I both did not know that female dogs get periods. I guess we never put much thought into it.

8:40

NEWS

9:10

DIRT

If you are following along with my book of the month club… this month’s read is Steve Martin – Born Standing Up.

9:30

We are discussing tattoos.

Blair does NOT have a tattoo of a Bald Eagle on her chest, she has a tattoo of a black bird.

The Bald Eagle tattoo is on her BACK!

9:40

Producers Notes.

10:30

Eating BBQ chicken for lunch.
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WEDNESDAY JULY 15, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark spilled oatmeal all over his car.

Mark also spilled Red Bull all over the conference room table.

Mercedes watched the all-star game last night.

6:15

The first pet only airline is up and flying.

They charge $250 for a roundtrip.

Flying on a regular airline with a pet can get expensive. US Air charges $100 each way for your pet and the pet is considered one of your carry-ons. And you are NOT allowed to take the pet out of the carrier during the flight.

The first time Mercedes traveled with her dog she gave him a mild sedative (from the vet).

The first time I traveled with my dog I was so worried she would 1) go to the bathroom on the plane or 2) she would bark the entire time. Thankfully she is a great flyer!

6:40

NEWS

We are discussing auto-complete on cell phones.

Mercedes father sent her a text a few weeks after Brooklyn was born asking how the baby was doing. Mercedes replied with - “Baby is great – she’s really responding to faces.” But thanks to auto-complete she sent “she’s really responding to FECES.”

7:10

We are discussing the 8 Signs that your marriage will fail.

7:30

We are discussing the true meaning of XOXO when you receive it in a text message or e-mail.

Mark says that it basically means that the person writing it wants you.

We bring this up because a big time Hollywood publicist sent this to me in an e-mail.

My saw the e-mail and got all bent out of shape.

I told her it was just Hollywood talk and not to worry about it.

Mercedes usually signs her e-mails with xoxo or a smiley face.

7:40

NEWS

8:10

Mark has a really big apple. He says it weighs about 2 lbs.

M&M are talking about Mark’s big apple. The conversation is pretty funny, especially if you substitute the word “piñata” for apple.

Do you ever have weird, twisted, demented thoughts? Strange urges that you know are wrong but you will never act out on.

This morning while working into the building I saw a HUGE ant hill. 100’s of ants and I wanted to put my hand in the pile and just let them crawl all over me and bite me.

Mercedes would want to chew glass.

Mark would put his hand in garbage disposal

Mercedes is telling us about the time she snuck behind her dad’s VW Bug and put her foot under it so he would drive over her.

8:30

They are making a movie about the “Viewmaster.”

We are discussing old school toys.

Mercedes liked “Sit and Spin.”

Mark was a fan of “Stretch Armstrong.”

We are discussing the meaning of “Olly Olly Oxen Free.”

From Wikipedia:

The correct phrasing used for generations of hide-and-seek and kick-the-can players is based on old English and goes as follows “ALL YE ALL YE IN COME FREE” and it means exactly what it says “all ye players may come in free” .

8:40

Mercedes finds male strip teases to be funny.

9:10

DIRT

9:40

Producer’s Notes

10:30

Time to mooch some gum off of Blair.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

MONDAY JULY 20, 2009

DETAILED SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mercedes was running a little behind this morning. She almost didn’t have time to pick up her green tear.

Mark spent most of his weekend playing “Puppy-opoly.” It’s very similar to Monopoly but I guess you buy and sell puppies.

When it comes to playing games with her daughter Mercedes has no mercy. She wants to teach her daughter to be a gracious loser.

I spent my weekend watching ‘Big Brother After Dark.’

6:15

DIRT

6:30

I was the rude person in a meeting on Friday. My cell phone kept going off…. It got so bad that I had to call myself out on it during the meeting.

I apologized to everyone and attempted to turn it off but my phone was frozen.

One of our co-workers mumbled “rude” under her breath to me. I quickly shot her a look which I guess was even ruder.

It was my wife who kept calling me. My meeting went from 10:30 to 11:45 and here is the actual call log:

10:48
11:01
11:02
11:11
11:15
11:38

6 calls!!! Not to mention a couple of Blackberry Messages along the way.

6:40

NEWS

It’s pretty hot here in a Vegas, and a little humid. Mark says when he is at the gym it’s like he’s going through mashed potatoes.

7:10

Who has the best ‘firing’ story?

A guy that worked at a gym hooked up with a girl after hours. They were naked and fooling around all over the gym.

Someone must have noticed something because the cops were called and the guy was arrested – NAKED. No charges were brought against him…. but he did lose his job.

One of the best “I quit” stories in radio comes from “Inetta the Moodsetta.” She quit live on air. And I quote “I quit this bitch!”

7:30

Mercedes had issues with Sugar Free candy….

She went to town with Sugar Free Gummies, Malt Balls, and Chocolate Covered

Raisins.

Afterwards here stomach was hurting. Probably because of the sorbitol.

Speaking of stomach issues… stay away from any foods that contain Olestra because they may cause "anal oil leakage"

7:40

Mark downloaded urban spoon for his iPhone.

Blair and I debated on which is better the Blackberry (me) or iPhone (Blair).

Blair likes to edit videos and photos on her iPhone while she drives… I can not come down on her because I sometimes watch episodes of ‘The Office.’

8:10

Today is the 40th anniversary of the Moon landing.

I am one of those skeptics about the moon landing… I am not saying that I don’t believe we did not land on the moon… I am just saying there are some VERY good arguments against the fact.

Neil Armstrong’s famous first line was “That’s one small step for man… one giant leap for mankind.”

I believe he misspoke. Shouldn’t he have said “That’s one small step for A man… one giant leap for mankind.” Isn’t MAN and MANKIND the same thing?

But who am I to question someone’s grammar. If I was Neil I would be like “Dude – I am on the moon!” Then again it was all done from a Hollywood studio anyway.

8:30

Mercedes makes her friends cry, but in a good way.

She is the Barbara Walters of her group.

What kind of friend are you? Mark says he is the internal eye roll friend because he is always showing pictures of his kids.

8:40

NEWS

Mark has never frontal flashed someone but he has mooned people before.

9:10

DIRT

9:30

Mercedes has a great site – HowManyOfMe.com

It tells you how many of you there are in the US.

There are only TWO Blair Davies.

We are questioning how Blair got her name.

Blair was NOT named after the character Blair on the “Facts of Life” she was named after Olympic Gold Medalist Bonnie Blair.

9:40

Producers Notes

10:10

Reminisce in our post show meeting about the TV Pilot we filmed called “DJ Games.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

TUESDAY JULY 21, 2009

DETAILED SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mercedes got a free scone this morning at Starbucks.

She is hesistant about eating it because it has 450 calories… but only 17g of sugar so she might go for it.

Mark had some issues at dinner last night. The waiter started to give his sister attitude after they asked for a different glass of wine.

6:15

DIRT

6:30

What is man’s greatest achievement or invention?

Was it the moon landing? Fire?

Mark says for him it is Orange Peel Chicken.

Mercedes says for her it is Nutella - The Original Creamy, Chocolaty Hazelnut Spread.

I say it’s plumbing. The MGM Grand has over 5,000 rooms, and everyone can flush those toilets at the same time and it will work out just fine. Imagine what a world we would live in that did not have toilets!

Most hotels have functioning toilets unless Mark is staying there.

Mark has plugged many toilets at the hotels at Disneyland.

Mercedes says that Mark is on the “brown” list at Disneyland hotels.

6:40

NEWS

Mercedes was shopping yesterday and noticed they have Christmas stuff on display.

We are discussing prison.

For a man who has never been to prison… I sure do know a lot about it.

I thought that the fact that prisoners use the coloring off of M&M’s for makeup and artwork was common knowledge.

And who doesn’t know how to make a shive out of a toothbrush. Come on!

7:10

Alanis Morissette is on the show.

She is discussing her role on Weeds. She plays an OBGYN.

Here is my personal Alanis Morissette story:

The year was 1999 and Alanis was doing a private show for our listeners at the Hard Rock Hotel. Mark and Mercedes were hosting the event and we were in a small conference room at the Hard with about 75 listeners. Alanis was going to come in and play a few songs and do a Q&A. They had candles and fancy rugs and made the entire room feel very intimate. I was in the back of the room and Alanis’ people came in and gave us a big speech about distractions and to have cell phones turned off (I guess they said pagers since it was 1999) and NO ONE was allowed to leave the room, let alone stand up, once the performance started.

Enter Alanis, and M&M start the Q&A. The feeling was very intimate… and enter my stomach cramps!!! I don’t know what I ate but buckled over in pain and was just focused on not losing it in front of Alanis. I broke out in a cold sweat. I am sure I could have excused myself but I was so afraid of her people and the “distractions” speech that I tried to hold it. I remember it being so bad that I thought I if I tried to leave I might lose it while trying to leave the room.

Needless to say I got through the performance and as soon as they opened the door I sprinted to a bathroom. I missed staff photos with Alanis – I didn’t tell anyone. I just took off running.

I have no idea why I just shared this gross story…. After the performance Mark took a listener to a swingers club. True story.

7:30

5 Myths About The Human Body.

Mercedes has noticed that her feet are shrinking…. either that or she is shrinking.

As a kid Mercedes was told that if you swallow a watermelon seed you will become pregnant.

We are discussing lightning storms.

I was on the phone with my mom when I told her we were in the middle of lightning storm. She told me to immediately to get off the phone because I might get struck by lightning.

We are discussing other ways that our parents told us we would be struck by lightning during a lightning storm:

Watching TV, Swimming, Taking a shower during a storm.

Mercedes witnessed a friend get struck by lightning. His name was (is) Willie Jabar.

Willie was wearing Reebok Pumps.

Lesson learned - Do NOT wear Reebok Pumps during a lightning storm… Willie had to learn the hard way.

7:40

NEWS

We are discussing the Chris Brown apology.

8:10

Dating a friends ex…

Do you need to get the blessing of the friend?

Be careful if you marry your sisters ex husband. Especially if you have kids, because their cousins will become their step brothers/ sisters and their uncle would become their stepfather.

8:50

NEWS

Do you remember Lou Bega? He had that hit Mambo # 5 back in 2000. He did a performance for us and played Mambo # 5 three times during the set.

9:10

DIRT

9:30

Mercedes is a wine snob….

Mark is a beer snob… he has to have a Heineken Light

Mercedes is also a jeans snob and a purse snob.

9:40

Producers Notes

10:30

Post show meeting and deep discussion about Willie Jabar.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MONDAY AUGUST 3, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

We are back from our trip to Nashville, TN. The three of us went to a morning show conference.

Mark had a weird dream…. the VP of programming was here in our building and Mark had no idea how to run the board. Then when he went to our traffic report he was playing ‘Brass Monkey’ by the Beastie Boys.

While in Nashville Mark hung out with a radio guy that wore a kilt the entire time. Mr. Kilt said that he was getting paid to wear it.

6:15

DIRT

6:30

CALL THE SHOW: 702-364-9400

Email: markandmercedes@mix941.fm
MERCEDES' BLOG

03/10-01 Overweight Etiquette
(03/10/10) The rules for being polite with your friends that may be overweight.

03/10-02 Emotional Songs
(03/10/10) Do you have a specific song that triggers an emotion?

03/10-03 The List
(03/10/10) Does every woman really have a "list"? And JC talks about his "first time".

03/09-01 Laura's Flat Tire
(03/09/10) There are certain things men should take care of.

03/09-02 Wayne Newton
(03/09/10) Mr. Las Vegas called in this morning and gave us an update on his show and his daughter.

03/09-03 What's in Your Purse?
(03/09/10) What's the strangest thing you're carrying around with you?

03/09-04 Producers Notes
(03/09/10) JC's Daily Show Recap....

03/08-01 Stray Animals
(03/08/10) Ever experienced a random STRAY in your house??

03/08-02 Open Marriages
(03/08/10) How would you feel about being in an open relationship?

03/08-03 Cool Grandparents
(03/08/10) What cool things do your grandparents do? And how old is the youngest grandparent??

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