MARCH 2009

MONDAY MARCH 2, 2009 

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mercedes is mad at her DVR, and the people that designed the DVR.   She set her DVR to tape the NASCAR race but the race ran late…. so when Mercedes went to watch replay the race was cut off. UGH!

Last night all four of us went to the opening of the M Resort.  Mark had his mom drop him off at the resort and he told me he was going to take a cab home. I told him I could take him, he did not respond to my offer so I thought he was going to pass.    Then when I said goodbye to everyone Mark did not say anything to me.  Mark ended up taking a cab home – it cost him $80.00.  I am keeping a running tally – I still owe him a gift for his birthday last year and now $80.00.   

Mercedes is upset with Drew, our Sacramento board-operator.  Drew accepted Blair as a friend on Facebook and not her.

6:20

DIRT

6:30 

We are re-airing our Joe Jonas interview.

6:40

Mercedes and I both very excited…. we have new paper towels in our bathroom.  They are so soft, I think they used sandpaper for our old paper towels.  Here is a photo of the actual paper dispenser:


Who's that creepy guy in the mirror???

Mercedes and I had a milestone moment last night.  I ate one of her half eaten dumplings.  You might not think this is a big deal, but I am a germaphobe and this was a half eaten dumpling.  It was either a great milestone or I was very, very, very hungry.

7:10

Both Mark and I had foot in mouth moments over the weekend.

We ran into a former co-worker of ours and Mark told the guy that he looks great and asked him if lost weight. The guy replied by telling Mark that he put on 100lbs – oops.  Mark then insisted – “no you didn’t you look great.”  And our former co-worker responded with “no, I really put on 100 lbs.”   It was funny seeing Mark arguing with the guy about his weight.

My foot in mouth moment happened on Saturday.  A co-worker of ours was stretching and scratching his stomach. This is when I noticed a 6 inch by ½ inch scar on his stomach. So I asked the guy – “dude, what’s your scar from? Did you get your appendix taken out or something?”  And my co-worker responded with “the scar is from too much eating.”  He then told me that it was not a scar but a stretch mark.

Mercedes saw an old friend who lost a lot of weight and told her she looks great – “what’s your secret?” And her friend responded with “I’m dying.” 

7:30

I met wrestling legend Rowdy Roddy Piper over the weekend.   Piper is appearing at Tony and Tina’s Wedding at Planet Hollywood.  It was really cool to meet a wrestling icon like Piper, the guy is a Hall of Famer and I have spent the past 20 years watching him wrestle.

When I met Piper my mind went blank, or my emotions took over, and I said to him – “God bless you.” God bless you????? Who says that to a wrestler?




Checkout the size of Pipers fist!


Rowdy is attempting to pull my arm off.
And I am laughing in delight over the fact that he is touching me.

7:40

Marks keeps getting calls from a number in San Jose, CA.  Mark has no idea who is calling him. Mercedes wants to call the number and find out.

Mercedes got a text from a mystery # - she had Blair call the # and find out who it was.  The person did not want to give Blair her name

Mark’s mom is in town to look at some houses.  She landed last night and went to send a text to her husband telling him that she landed  -  the text, “just landed. XO XO,” was accidentally send to her realtor. Oops.  Her agent responded with, “ok, see you tomorrow.”

8:10

Can you change your child’s name when they are two years old?  That is what we are discussing right now. 

For the record – Russian Katia is HOT.  German Katia, not so much.

When you say the name Blair Mark thinks Linda Blair from The Exorcist, Mercedes thinks of Blair Warner from “The Facts of Life, and I think of 1988 Olympic Golf Medalist Bonnie Bliar.


Facts of Life Blair.


Bonnie Blair.

We need to update our e-mail sound effects.

8:40

Who still uses AOL?

We are now discussing the song  “PEnnsylvania 6-5000.”

Or at least Mark says that is a song by the Glenn Miller Orchestra.

Mercedes and I say he is getting the song confused with the classic 1985 moive “Transylvania 6-5000.”

Looks like Mark is right – there is a Glenn Miller Orchestra song.

 

But let us give “Transylvania 6-5000” it’s due respect.

9:10

Mercedes follows Jimmy Fallon on Twitter

Mark had a friend who says "Twitters is for Twits."

9:30

We are discussing  the “complicated”  status option on Facebook.

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TUESDAY MARCH 3, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark was into the Bachelor last night. He watched 3 hours of Bachelor programming.

Mercedes watched 24 last night.

6:20

Mercedes admits to being a fan of Wonder Woman.

6:30

We are talking about wedding proposals that have gone bad. There is a story about a girl who swallowed her engagement ring.  Her boyfriend had it hidden in her milkshake.   The couple had to wait for the ring to pass. And it did, she swallowed it on a Tuesday and by Thursday it had passed.

Mercedes’ dog ate tinsel once and she had to wait for it to pass.  She said when it passed it came out like a magician’s handkerchief.

6:40

How do you handle someone that has a dog that poops in your yard?

Mercedes hates it when the neighbors dog pees in her yard.

Mercedes is still having issues with the barking dog behind her mom. She says it sounds like a baby trying to say “mama.”

7:10

What song did you kill?

Mercedes is killing Lily Allen’s “The Fear.”  It is her favorite song but she keeps playing the song over and over and she feels she is going to kill the song (start to hate it).

M&M both feel that iTunes should cut off your spins.  So if you are playing a song too much iTunes will prevent you from burning out on it.

7:30

We are taking calls on the best cover songs.

7:40

M&M say that succulent is a great word.

8:10

More on The Bachelor.

8:30

We are discussing the difference between chunky, husky, meaty, plump, and fluffy.

Mercedes is doing the Mel B workout.  She is watching her DVD “Totally Fit.”

Mark is thinking about doing the P90X Workout.

If someone refers to a woman as “rubenesque” they are implying that she is a “full bodied woman."  Mark thought they are saying the person looks like season two winner of American Idol, Ruben Studdard.

8:40

Mark is asking what Beyonce is referring to in her song “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)”  
The line in question is:
“If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.”

Mark  says that Beyonce is referring to her privates.

9:10

DIRT

We are talking about “Sexy Cartoon Characters.”

Mercedes and I are debating the female Smurfs.  I say there was only one, Smurfette.  Mercedes says there are at least three female Smurfs.

Turns out she is right:


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WEDNESDAY MARCH 4, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

We had some issues with our studios pc’s locking up yesterday.  This caused us to have some dead air.  Our engineer said that Mark and Mercedes’ iPhone is the source of our problems.  He says that the iPhone sends out signals that set off other things in our studio – he was a little more technical in his explanation than I was.

Here is the PC that crashed yesterday:

Blair disagrees with our engineer because the same thing happens to her with the studio pc’s and she does NOT have an iPhone.

M&M say that our engineer is pro pc and anti Mac. 

Mark watched American Idol last night.

Mercedes spent her day fighting with a cashier at Target.  Mercedes was trying to return an item without a receipt.  Target use to have a policy that limited 3 of these types of returns a year, they recently changed this to 2 returns a year. 

Mercedes loves Target and was trying to return a Cinderella toy that her daughter got for her birthday.  The person who gave the gift did not leave a receipt.

Mercedes says she just realized that she did not send out any thank you cards for her daughter’s birthday.  She wants to know how late is too late to send out the cards?  Mark told her to just forget em.

Mark forgot to bring in the invite for his daughters b-day party.  He says this now cancels out Mercedes forgotten thank you cards.

6:20

DIRT

We are discussing our senior prom songs.  Mercedes does not remember her prom song but she does remember Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places” was played a couple of times.

My senior prom song was Alphaville’s “Forever Young.”   The theme of our prom was “Forever Young” and the months leading up to my prom I thought the song they were going to use was Rod Stewarts “Forever Young.”   

Do you remember the video for that song?   Who was the kid that Rod was singing to?

6:30

Mark faced some road rage yesterday.  The guy kept laying on his horn, Mark kept his cool but was asking – how do you handle road rage?

I think everyone should have some type of weapon in their car. You need some type of protection if you are stuck in traffic and someone comes up and starts banging on your window.

If you don’t have a weapon your cigarette lighter would work.

Mercedes use to have a butter knife in her car.  This was her protection – she would threaten to spread cream cheese on her would be attacker.

6:40

We have a story about a lady who called 911 because the McDonalds she went to was out of Chicken McNuggets.

We get some strange calls here at the radio station.  When Blair does the over nights she gets calls from the local mental hospital.  She has also received sexual advances from callers – Blair turns them down.

Mark points out that that is the difference between male and female dj’s.  A male dj would not turn down those advances.

7:10

We are discussing the top five things that annoy your dentist.

M&M have asked me what annoys me during the show.  About a year ago we did a list of our caller commandments. This was 10 things that you need to know when calling the show – I tried to find them in our archive but had not luck.  I can’t remember all 10 but I do remember a few:
1) Keep your radio turned down.
2) M&M do not do “shout-outs.”
3) M&M usually do not go back and rehash old topics. IE: If you call at 8:10 to give us your favorite movie actor, a topic we did at 6:10, your call won’t make the air.
4) If you win a prize – GET EXCITED!!!!!!!!

7:30

We are talking about the photo of President Obama drinking a beer. 

7:40

NEWS

The Watchmen opens up Friday. All 4 of us are pretty new to the whole “Watchmen” thing but there is a great buzz on the movie.

8:10

We are talking about hacky hallway encounters.

We have a co-worker that does fake shadow boxing with you when you walk by him.

Here is a photo of the Mix 94.1 Hallway:


Notice the lone gumball machine at the end of the hallway.

Mercedes husband will answer their house line and say “Grand Central Station.”

8:30

We are discussing the pros and cons of dating a rich guy.  Isn’t it all pros???

8:40

Mercedes once got her head stuck in the banister of her childhood home. 

I once got a plastic grape stuck up nose.  I was pretending that it was a booger and my sister made me laugh, I sucked the thing straight up to my sinus.

9:10 

DIRT

9:50

Producers Notes.
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MONDAY MARCH 9, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

All of us were on time this morning. Which means we all changed our clocks over the weekend.

Mercedes admits that when it comes to her alarm clock she is a snoozer.  She usually hits the snooze button 2-3 times in the morning.

There is a weird smell in the office this morning.  Someone left food in the break room over the weekend and the entire office stinks! Smell in the building


The smelly CBS Radio break room.

I am going through major caffeine withdrawals this morning.  I usually have 3-4 Red Bulls a day, plus a cup of coffee or two.  Yesterday I had 1 Red Bull and this morning I have the worst headache!

6:20

I bought into the hype and started reading “The Watchmen.”

6:40

What do you do when someone is talking to you and spit flies into your eye?

This happened to me on Saturday… one of our co-workers was talking to me and two giant wads of spit landed on my face.  The first one went into my eye and the second one landed on my face and was rolling down my cheek like a single tear.

Instead of wiping it off right away I waited till we were done talking – I looked at it as sign of respect.

Do you tell someone if they have something in their teeth?  Mercedes has a great trick – instead of pointing out one person in the group she will have everyone do a “teeth check.”  She did this to Mark, Blair and I when we were in Sacramento….. I was the one with lettuce in my teeth and instead of just calling me out she made everyone check their teeth.

7:10

Mark was hanging out with Mercedes’ brother Marcos over the weekend.  They had a run in with a bachelorette party on Saturday night.

The bride to be had a bunch of challenges to complete. 

Some of her wacky fun included:

Getting 5 men to kiss her.  Marcos was the first to kiss her, followed by Mark. So in essence Mark kissed Marcos.

She had to get neck massage from a random stranger – Mark was happy to oblige.

At one point Marcos played Chip-n-Dale dance for the group.

Mercedes has noticed a few things about bachelorette parties :

One of them is always wearing some kind of sash and they all do a bachelorette party walk.  Plus there is always one old lady in the group. This lady is always the life of the party. 

7:30

My wife is insisting that I get rid of my tighty-whities.  She has never really said anything to me over the past 5-years about these but ever since Mercedes was making fun of them last week my wife has been coming down on me.

Mark was at Macy’s yesterday and discovered some great deals – that’s when he sent this manly text to me – “Big Sale at Macy’s Fashion Show. Everything in Men’s is 10-25% off today and tomorrow.”

I followed up with this manly reply – “AWESOME! I will check it out tomorrow.”

When Mark was at Macy’s he thought about buying me some boxer briefs.  What the ?  Thank gosh he didn’t because then both of us would never live it down.

7:40

Studies show that most of America is tired the day after day light saving.  Wait? You are telling me that most people get tired after they lose an hour of sleep? No way!

Blair says attendance was light during the 8:30 a.m church service on Sunday. 

If you are ever asked a question about history, or who invented something, and you don’t know the answer….   just respond with “Benjamin Franklin.” It works for Mercedes.

8:10

We are discussing the best and worst movies of all time.

8:30

Mark and Mercedes use to host “your fashion tip of the day” during Beverly Hills 90201 repeats.

8:40

NEWS

9:10

DIRT

Recently Mark had a sex dream about one of our co-workers.   And while at dinner with this co-worker on Saturday another co-worker told her about it.  Awkward.

Blair will often write out her first name and the last name of her current crush – which is currently Sacramento Drew.

9:30

Mark spent his Friday night watching a special on Siegfried and Roy. 

9:50

Producers Notes.
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WEDNESDAY MARCH 11, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mercedes was upset after watching 24 – her favorite character Bill Buchanan was killed off.



Bill is played by actor James Morrison, we had him on the show last year. We will see if we can get him on today.

Mark watched American Idol last night. The fine folks at Fox sent over this cool American Idol score card:

Today is a big day for me, I am wearing boxer/ briefs.  I miss my tighty-whities.

Blair tells us she is wearing polka dot underwear.

6:20

DIRT

6:30

Mercedes’ brother wears a magnet bracelet.  He says it helps him with his joint pains and arthritis. Mercedes’ brother is only 30-years old – joint pain and arthritis??? This guy is a real life Benjamin Buttons.

Is this just a craze or does it really work?  Is it like the ear candling craze of the late 90’s?  When ear candling was the big thing we had a listener come in and administer ear candling to Mark.  Because ear candling = great radio.

Here is a left over "ear cone" from 1999.  If we ever build a Mark and Mercedes in the Morning museum we can place this in it:

Mercedes wants to make friendship bracelets with magnets.

6:40

Mercedes tells us that can change a tire… Mark reveals that he cannot bake a cake.

Mark has an apron that he wears when he cooks - no it does not say “Kiss the Cook.”  It's one of those bikini-body aprons.

7:10

I was at a really cool event last night – The Aloha Kitchen Challenge.  It was held at Roy’s and it was a cooking competition between students of Le Cordon Bleu Culinary School.

I was one of the judges along with Norm (Las Vegas gossip columnist), Maria Silva from CH3 NBC, and the lead singer from “O.”

At one point in the evening I was talking to Maria about newscast and reports and I asked her this off the wall question – “is it true that you have video obituaries already pre produced?”  Maria said she wasn’t sure so I continued to press the question – “take Ed McMahon for example, he is on death’s door, don’t you already have a tribute for him ready to go?”   After the fact I realized that this was a rather morbid line of questioning to be having during dinner.

We are now taking calls on what question you get most for your profession.

Winner:  A cab driver had a customer ask him if the Statue of Liberty in front of the New York, New York Hotel and Casino was real.  He responded with – “Yes, they want it to be safe so they moved it here after 9/11.”

7:30

We are discussing the four lies women tell each other about pregnancy.

7:40

NEWS

8:10

I have given up cursing for Lent and I am trying not to say the Lords name in vein.  Every time I say the Lords name in vein I make a $5.00 donation to Blair’s church.  Last week I cut a check for twenty bucks and this week I am up to $15.00

I think Mercedes should get in on this, because Blair’s church would be able to add on a new wing if Mercedes had to pay up.

Mark asked Blair who curses the most  -  Blair says that Mark says the Lords name in vein the most on-air and that Mercedes says the F word  the most (off-air).

We are now taking calls on replacement curse words – ie: Holy Toledo, Gosh Darn it.

Mercedes is now teaching Mark Hungarian curse words.

She has taught him how to say male and female private parts in Hungarian.  We now have Mercedes mom on the phone, Mark is trying these words on her.

Mercedes’ mom just got the out! Well played!

8:30

DJ AM says he was scheduled to fly on the doomed Continental flight that crashed in Buffalo two weeks ago - it would have been his second plane crash in six months.   I say prove it – a cancelled ticket, credit card receipt, show us something Mr. AM.

We are not discussing fate and how certain events change the course of your life.

Technically  Mercedes owes her existence to a bad shoe.  Some 30 years ago Mercedes’ father had a busted shoe and went into a shoe repair shop where he met and fell in love with her mother.

What would have happened if he decided not to get his shoe fixed?

If you go on this theory I owe my entire existence to Fidel Castro.  My father’s family left Cuba after Fidel took over, my dad came to the states and met my mom. The rest is history. If Fidel did not take over my father probably would not have come to the US.  Thank you Fidel. Thank you!




And I leave you with this classic Fidel fall. 

 

THURSDAY MARCH 12, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mark is still stuffed from his dinner last night..

Mercedes brother left town yesterday. He was in town for a week.

Blair was late for work this morning because of traffic.  At one point she was held up in traffic because of police activity.

When Mercedes arrived at the gym yesterday there was police activity in the parking lot.

Mark had police activity on his street yesterday.  There was a break in at one of the homes. Some joke turned on all of the faucets and flooded the place.

So 3 out of the 4 show members encountered police activity yesterday.

6:20

3 out of the 4 show members  pee in the shower.  Can you guess the odd person out? If you guessed Mark give yourself a gold star.

There are two words/ terms that Mercedes dislikes.  1) “Baby Daddy” and 2) “Preggers.”

6:30

I love Aquafina water, but I am upset with them right now.   And this is a catch 22.   They changed the design of their bottles.  They now use 30% less plastic.  Great for the environment but bad for the quality of the bottle.   The bottle is now very flimsy and makes a loud crunchy sound when you grab it.  

I drink a lot of water at night, and this new bottle is so loud that when I went to drink some last night the sound woke my wife up, and my dog, and my neighbors.

Mercedes also likes Aquafina water but dislikes Arrowhead.  She says it taste like dirt!   And she is not alone, lots of listeners agree.

My wife is a water snob. Funny thing, I gave her a bottled water taste test.  I had Arrowhead, Aquafina, Fiji, Kroger brand, and tap water.   Guess what she picked?  If you said tap water you are correct!

6:40

We have a list of things that guys should not do in public.

One of them is the “farmers hankie.” 

I will do the “farmers hankie” in the shower.  And Blair admits to doing this as well.

Mark and I both think it’s disgusting that Blair does this. It is not very lady like.  How can I sit here and critize Blair if I am guilty of it as well???  I am a guy, and it’s expected off us to do crude/ rude things.  Plus I have my own shower.  Blair has roommates that share her bathroom!  UGH!

7:10

A lot of listeners were mad at Mercedes for revealing who was killed off of “24.”  In Mercedes’ defense she talked about this on Wednesday morning and “24” aired on Monday night.   I think she it gave people some time to catch up on the episode.

Even one of our local Fox news anchors was mad at Mercedes.  How can they be bad? The show airs on their network!

7:30

Mark is not a fan of the motion detected hand towel dispenser.

He does not like it for two reasons – 1) it does not give you enough towels.  2) half the time it does not work.

All of us are not fans of the bathroom attendant.  There is too much tip pressure.  Mercedes ended up tipping one of these attendants 5 bucks on Saturday. She had nothing smaller and the attendant was blocking Mercedes’ wait out of the bathroom.

7:40

We are discussing Murphy’s Law  and which Murphy did this law start with?  Was it Eddie Murphy? Murphy Brown? Britney Murphy?  Or perhaps from The Simpsons, Bleeding Gums Murphy.

8:10 

We are discussing 80’s clothes and how they might be making a comeback!

If the jean jacket came back in style Mercedes would be ready to go and If cavaricci pants made a comeback  Mark would be all set.

How about the skinny tie?  Blair is actually wearing a tie today-  Mercedes says she looks like Avril Lavigne.

All of us had cheesy senior year photos.  Blair’s was in front of some lame ivy bush. I had on my cap and gown, and this picture was taken in August – it would have sucked if I did not graduate.

8:30

I had an incident at the gym yesterday.  I got the unwanted spot while I was squatting.  I wasn’t even struggling and this guy came up right behind me to spot me.   

The spot on the squat is the worst.  You have to get right behind the guy and he is squatting in front of you – it’s very intimate!

I was listening to Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” while I was squatting. 

8:40

Ladies is your man out of town and are you feeling lonely?  Well, Mercedes has two suggestions for you – 1) a Sonic Care Toothbrush and 2) Set your cell to vibrate and keep calling.

A listener has called in to tell us about a new app for the iPhone.  It’s pretty much a BOD app.  Mercedes just nailed the out and the daily promo with this line – “it’s not an iPhone it’s now an oPhone.”

That’s it for today!
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THURSDAY MARCH 19, 2009

SHOW RUNDOWN

6:00

Mercedes had her Anniversary Dinner last night.   She had a few cocktails at dinner which led to an awkward exchange with the babysitter.   (Cocktails included a martini and wine).

M&M are doing an American Idol recap.

We have audio of President Obama picking his NCAA basketball brackets.  He has picked the University of North Carolina to win it all.  We also have audio of Obama asking the Tarheels not to let him down this year.  Talk about a little pressure? The President of the United States just asked you to win the NCAA tournament for him.  

6:20

Dirt

6:30

Mercedes had to deal with some road rage yesterday.

Some guy cut her off and then flipped her off… the kicker is that the guy had a Jesus fish on his car.

Mercedes had another road rage incident last week. This one happened at one of those roundabouts. This guy also had a “Jesus Fish” on his car and he flipped off Mercedes as well.

6:40

NEWS

Mercedes has a story about a kid that got a potty seat stuck on his head. 

Mercedes is telling us about the time she got her head stuck in a banister.  Her mom had to use “I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter” to get her out.

7:10

Jay Leno is on the show.  He will be at The Mirage this weekend.

Leno is always a solid guest and he just delivered today’s promo with a line he had about Twitter.

7:30 

M&M have a story about a man who thought he won almost $43 million at a casino in Ontario but casino workers said he didn’t win because the machine was broke.

Mark’s says his parents fight over slot machines.  Mark’s dad does not play the max bet and when he hit’s a jackpot he ends up losing out on extra cash.  His mom gets mad and tells him he should play the max bet every time!  I tend to agree with his mom on this one.

If Mark’s dad has a rough night at the slots he will throw his players club card into the hotels water fountain.

Mercedes has a gambling conspiracy theory.  She believes someone presses a button when they want a person to win.  They give it old people so they don’t have to pay them off (figuring they won’t be alive that long) or they pick a winner that will get so excited that this person will encourage other people to gamble.

Mercedes is full of wisdom and deep thoughts…. In the past she has told us that “many a truths are said in jest.”  And today she enlightened us with this…. “a quick nickel beats a slow dime.”

8:10

We are attempting to stump Blair with 1980’s TV and Movie sound effects.

I am going first…. I am doing Rosco P. Coltrane’s laugh from “The Dukes of Hazard.” Blair has no idea what it is.

Mercedes is trying some sound effects from “Pee Wee’s Playhouse.”  Again, Blair has no idea.

8:30

We have a Firefighter/ gold digger e-mail dilemma

8:40

NEWS

We are discuss thread counts on sheets.  Mercedes tell us that her sheets have a thread count of 1,500.  Both Mark and I have no idea what our thread count is.

Mark admits that he hardly ever washes his sheet
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